Such a good mommy

Sarah Beth, not me. She is so loving and sweet to her babies and stuffed animals, and I have no idea where she gets it from because tenderness is NOT one of my gifts. :) Today she securely strapped her pig into the stroller and took her for a fast walk through the house. I don't know why I thought the pig in the stroller was hysterical, but I did.

The sweet part was that somehow she had a wreck and the stroller pitched forward landing the pig, still strapped in, face-first on the carpet. She stopped and asked, "Pig, are you ok? Are you ok pig?" and then pulled the pig out, held it against her chest, and patted it's bum like I do to comfort her. Then she asked, "Boo boo? Kiss?" We asked her if the pig had a boo boo and the pig didn't indicate one way or another, so we told her to just to give the pig a kiss just for good measure.

But I'm Too Cute to Spank!

We are spankers, and lately we've been focusing more on talking with Sarah about the process and trying to make sure she understands (as best as a just-barely-2-year-old can) what she did to deserve the punishment. Today we had several minor spanking incidents, but the following is by far my favorite ever.

Mark: "Sarah, Daddy asked you to take the book back to the bookshelf. Did you do that?"
[Correct Answer: "No."]
Sarah: "Yes."

Mark: "No, you threw it on the table. Then, Daddy asked you to come here. Did you come here?"
[Correct Answer: "No."]
Sarah: "Yes."

Mark: "No, you looked at me and walked in the opposite direction. Did you disobey?"
[Correct Answer: "Yes."]
Sarah: cute smile

Mark: "Yes, you disobeyed. Do you know what Daddy has to give you since you disobeyed?"
[Correct Answer: "A spanking."]
Sarah: (while launching her cute self into Mark's chest) "A hug."

LOVE HER. We tried our best to stifle the giggles until the actual spanking and resulting crying and comforting were over, but that was definitely one of the cuter conversations we've had during discipline moments lately. :)

Here, dear husband, is why I watch the Bachelor

I didn't make him watch it with me, but he dared to sit in the room while I read some hilarious recaps and message board posts, and when he asked what I was reading and why, we got into a discussion about why I watch it. His issue is, he knows that I absolutely hate to see people embarrass themselves (so I absolutely cannot watch any type of Punked/Candid Camera type shows), yet I watch The Bachelor to laugh at the girls who embarrass themselves. While the distinction is crystal clear to me, I had trouble explaining it to him. My thoughts on the subject are:

--There's a difference between involuntary involvement (a la "candid camera" moments) and jumping through hoops to put yourself on television. Mark pointed out, though, that the people who are unwittingly caught in the embarrassing moments have to sign releases after the fact so their stuff shows up on TV, so in a way they're actually voluntarily involved.

--The chicks/dudes on The Bachelor/ette KNOW that how they're portrayed will be out of their hands to an extent, but they sign their rights away and do it anyway. It's not the first season, here, folks. You know they have specific roles to fill and they can take little things about you and blow them up however they want. There's always a crazy-eyes stalker girl and this season they may choose you. You did cry on the first night, so who can blame then? I want to make it clear, though, that though I know the showrunners have enormous power in how you're portrayed, I have no sympathy for you because they can't edit crazy out of thin air. They work with what you give them and when you get trashed in the limo before even meeting your future husband, you've sealed your fate as "the drunk" all on your own.

--You sign up for this anyway, knowing that you may lose your job when your boss sees your bum in the tiny flight attendant outfit. You sign up for this anyway, knowing that your grandma/kindergarden teacher/current boyfriend will watch you make out in the hot tub. I realize the goal of reality television is for the people on it to act as if they've forgotten the cameras are there, but in some situations you have GOT to know that people will watch this. They will write hysterical things about you and make up silly nicknames for you and it's your own fault.

That is all I can think of. It basically boils down to "they're asking for it." :) Does that make me a rotten person? Probably. :) You can judge me, but I know you're all watching too! ;) Just being real, here, folks. :)

On the Wings of Love

That is the tagline for this season of The Bachelor. No, I am not joking. The bachelor is an airline pilot. Wings of love indeed. I love that they used to have millionaires, princes, and professional football players, but the guy they got this season works for Delta. This means 25 women will be fighting over a prize who

--Has a slightly above-average salary
--Works in an industry that's suffering and therefore probably has fairly little job security
--Will come home smelling like stale airplane air
--Has a job that will take him away from home several nights a week and trap him in a metal box where his few coworkers are most likely attractive women

What a catch. :)

I only snark because I love, though. I am a sucker. I will watch this show. I am already anxious because our home group tonight will cause me to miss the season premier. As the only family in America without Tivo, I'll have to wait until naptime tomorrow to watch it online, which means I'll also have to wait until tomorrow afternoon/night to read my favorite message board and laugh at the snark of other sensible adults who are also caught up in this mess despite their best intentions. I know you can't wait to hear my thoughts. :)

Who cares about football? We're a baseball and track school anyway.

We got matching Gamecock shirts for Christmas this year. We wore them for the first time for the bowl game today figuring they didn't have any bad juju associated with them yet.




They didn't work. We lost. We lost in spectacular fashion. Tears and gnashing of teach ensued.



Kidding. The tears and teeth gnashing was actually a good old fashioned fit that didn't have anything to do with football. It was the result of me removing her from a large basket (that she's been told DOZENS of times NOT to sit in) AFTER she rolled over in it and was laying on her side with the basket on top of her. She just flopped to the ground and threw an old school tantrum the likes of which we haven't seen in months. Being the heartless parents that we are, Mark and I both just sat on the couch and watched TV for 15 minutes until she was too exhausted to cry anymore, at which point she got up on her own and resumed playing. Although she can almost always hold it together better than this nowadays, she still reacts with extreme displeasure whenever she hears the word "no." I will be THRILLED when one day she accepts a gentle no without completely falling apart. Sigh. Toddlers are fun. :)

New Year's Blogolution

Some of my friends have toyed with the idea of making post-a-day in 2010 resolutions. I briefly (VERY briefly) considered the idea, but since my posting frequency for 2009 was roughly 1 post per every 1.5 months, I decided this would be a ridiculous goal. I do, however, resolve to blog more frequently. My reasons for this relatively frivolous resolution are as follows:



--Posting more frequently will hopefully help me write shorter blog posts. :) Everything I wrote in 2009 was LONG. I mean, really really long. This way maybe I can just shoot for a short blurb or even just a picture every few days or so.



--This will help me remember some of the silly things Sarah Beth says/does. She is getting more and more entertaining by the day, and I hope I will do better at recording the silliness.



--This will hopefully help me document more of baby #2s milestones and the development of his/her routine. I was pretty overwhelmed for months after SB was born and I don't have ANYTHING written down concerning her milestones or when she was doing certain things. I do remember her first real, I'm-positive-that's-an-intentional-smile was on Easter and that she started crawling the week we moved into our house in Dayton (convenient). That's about it. Hoping to do better with the next one.



--It never hurts to read back on funny/ridiculous/inspiring things you learn or experience, right?



--Maybe by posting more frequently I'll be more entertaining and thereby garner more than 3 readers (2 of whom share my last name and thus don't count).



We'll see how it goes. :)



One fun thing about today:



Sarah Beth was in a puzzle mood and got all of her puzzles out and did them one by one. She even did her pretty hard alphabet puzzle! The puzzle pieces are letters and underneath the letters there's a picture of an object that starts with that letter. She can do it if I help by saying, "That piece is a B. B is for basket." She'll find the basket and stick the B in it's place. I think that's pretty impressive. Anyway, she was bored with the "baby puzzles" so to make it more challenging we dumped 5 puzzles out onto the floor and made her dig through the several dozen pieces to complete all the puzzles simultaneously. She got off to a really impressive start by finding all the shapes and quickly completing the shapes puzzle before moving onto the farm animals.

As impressive as the beginning was, the puzzle inspiration was short-lived. After completing 1.5 of the 5 puzzles, she lost focus and started trying to pick up puzzle pieces with her feet. Sadly, I wasn't quick enough to get any good pictures of that part. Let's just say she needs a lot more practice before she can compete with her daddy's monkey toes.

Annual Halloween Post

It's late and I'm tired and lazy and nobody told SB that we're supposed to get an extra hour of sleep tonight. :) That being said, here's a short and sweet report on our 2009 Halloween:

--Candy: 18.56 lb - 747 pieces based on back-of-the-bag numbers. Only 1 bowl (maybe 40 pieces) left after 2 hours.

--Absolute Favorite Costume (that wasn't on my own kid :)) - a 3-ish year old boy dressed as the UPS guy--brown shirt w/UPS logo, brown pants, hat, and he even had a cardboard box in which to carry his candy! His mom said he picked it out himself.

--2nd Favorite Costume--a 13-ish guy in all black with an upside-down cardboard U around his shoulders. It was painted black and then ends were red and had little yellow chicks on them. Chick Magnet. Get it?. Nice.

--I love my neighbors because: they would call out the lazy teenagers trick-or-treating without serious costumes. I mean really. You know you're too old to do this. At least put a little effort into the costume.

--I love my neighborhood because: there were dozens of military cops walking and riding bikes through the neighborhood. They even had the firetruck out roaming around just for fun again! It's like trick-or-treating in Mayberry! I kept offering them candy to help keep their energy level up but they always declined. :)

--Funny Kid Comments --
--a 4-ish year old boy after I put 2 pieces of candy in his bag (younger kids got 2, anybody over about 11 got 1 and I usually made sure it was the crappy candy--Now & Laters, Starbursts, Nerds, etc.) "Give me another piece." He looked me straight in the eye and didn't even say please! His parents were horrified.
--as a kid and mom were walking up the kid noticed Fredo sitting under my chair. "Look at that fake dog!" kid says. Mom says, "That dog's not fake! He's real!" Fredo licks himself. Kid says, "WHOA! That dog IS real!"
--"Do you have a trash can I could use?" Apparently someone was giving out styrofoam cups of hot chocolate with "God loves you!" written on them. The girl handed me 2 empty ones and I carried them all the way inside for her. I am a sucker.

--Disappointment of the night -- I saw another Abby Cadabby! AND her costume was an actual store-bought one! She had the perfect dress and the wings and her yarn pom-pom pigtails were even a more perfect shade of pink than SB's! She didn't need a nametag! I was only temporarily sad because my kid's costume was much cuter. Hers may have been more easily identifiable, but we won the cuteness contest hands down.

SB was a pretty awful trick-or-treater. She enjoyed carrying her little bag but once we walked up to people she wouldn't say a word. We only went to the 4 houses closest to us and then she stood outside with us for a while watching us give out candy and smiling as I pointed out kids wearing costumes she'd recognize (dog, cow, UPS guy. Since I am constantly ordering ribbon/bow supplies we see a lot of him these days. :)). She did get to eat some chocolate. My neighbors gave her a bag of Raisinets and I was thinking, "Come on! Raisinets?!? Nobody actually likes those!" Well, I forgot that regular raisins are like crack to SB. She LOVED the Raisinets. They saw how much she enjoyed them and walked over and slipped her another bag. :) They may have ruined her for regular raisins forever. She also ate a fun size Nestle Crunch Bar. The mini bag of Raisinets and the Crunch bar together amount to the most chocolate intake she's ever experienced in one day. Surprisingly enough, she went to bed easily and on time--helped by the fact that I had a football game and Mark had a baseball game to watch so nobody wanted to let her stay up. :)

Halloween--Fun. :)
Carolina/Tennessee Football Game--Awful :(

They balance out for a pretty OK day. :)

Musings from Las Vegas

--How does one become a "Blue Man?" Do you need a performance background? A percussion background? Just giant crazy eyes?

--Speaking of crazy eyes, does the makeup/crazy-eye combo wreak havoc on their vision long term? Ick.

--Casinos are sad at 10:00 AM. I guess I should say the people who are in casinos at 10 in the morning make me sad.

--"Dry heat" or not, 108 is just plain hot.

--I wonder if the "sirens" dancers think wistfully about what their lives would have been like had they actually gotten into Julliard. Instead they're just showing their bums on a fake pirate ship 4 times a night.

--Ford Mustangs are fun at first, but they are most definitely not built to be driven by a 5'2" girl. Most. uncomfortable. car. ever.

--Las Vegas is the land of the 24 hour breakfast menu. This is a plus.

--I wish I had bought Sarah Beth the shirt that said "My aunt is what you'd call a hottie."

--Motion-sensor-activated sinks were created to humiliate me. They see my soapy hands and laugh in defiance.

--What is the life of a Cirque du Soleil performer like the other 22 hours a day? Do they eat? Do they hang out with each other? Do they stretch all day? Are they all French-Canadian?

--All the casinos really are the same except for the carpet, lighting, and outfits for the coctail waitresses.

--Cocktail waitresses make me a little sad. Cocktail waitresses who are over about 35 make me really sad.

--Where did all the simple slot machines go? I wanted to just stick a dollar in and pull and lever. Now they all have 10 buttons and look difficult. I'll just save my dollar.

--A hot dry breeze + contacts = Emma blinking like a crazy person all day long.

--Penn of "Penn and Teller" is a libertarian and his crazy political rants made me want to stand up and shout AMEN a little.

A blog in the style of Facebook status updates:

Emma Wuertz...

--is thankful for her new fancy jogging (and by jogging I mean really fast walking) stroller after pushing around the beast of a Graco all day at the zoo.

--is watching High School Musical 3 tonight.

--loves that when Mark tried to get Sarah Beth to say "bison" when they saw a bison at the zoo, she said "yummy" instead.

--is irritated because her sunburn is at the itchy stage.

--is addicted to babycheapskate.com and buying stuff she doesn't really need just because it's a fabulous deal.

--is losing the war against roly-polys for ownership of our first floor.

--is looking forward to her first Independence Day spent in 70/80 degree weather (instead of sweating in the 90s) but will be crazy sad to miss the annual "Party Til the Cows Come Home" with the trifecta.

--is a little discouraged and frustrated with how much (or I guess how little) Sarah Beth eats.

--loves to read other peoples' blogs and wishes she were better about updating hers more often. :)

What now, Dr. Morton?

Today we had Sarah Beth's 18 month checkup. As I've always been concerned with her physical growth, I was excited to see how her weight/height measured up since she's seemed to be chunking up lately. Apparently I was wrong. :) She was 30 3/4 inches tall (yay) and 20.6 lb (boo). I think that was the exact same weight we got at her 12 month checkup, actually. This was a little concerning to the doctor since her height and head size are on track with where they've been for about 9 months (percentiles in the high teens) and her weight fell from the 21st to the 4th percentile. whoops. The frustrating thing is that we've been feeling so good about how she's been eating lately! I told the doctor that since she was so small to begin with, for the first year of her life my main concern every hour of every day was "GET FOOD IN THE BABY." Once we established that she was growing physically at a healthy rate and was at or ahead of where she needed to be developmentally (without even accounting for her prematurity), we started to relax about the food. She eats a wide variety of healthy foods, but we were a little more laid back on the forcing her to eat part. We figured, "She's happy, she's growing, she's healthy. She'll eat when she gets hungry enough, so we're not going to wrestle with her over cleaning her plate." Sometimes she eats EVERYTHING ALL DAY LONG. Sometimes she seems to get by on oxygen alone. Also, she eats HEALTHY FOOD! I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she can't gain weight when her average dinner is grilled chicken and steamed veggies with no butter. :) She doesn't get cookies or ice cream--her most exciting treat is vanilla wafers! Today in an attempt to help her fatten up I gave her her very first taste of a peanut butter (full fat!) and jelly sandwich for lunch. She rejected it and ended up eating handfulls and handfulls of fresh pineapple for lunch. How you chunk up on pineapple alone I'll never know.

Bottom line is that according to Dr. Morton, we should go back to wrestling with her about food and forcing her to eat. Well...we tried that at dinner.

It did not go well.

She went at the green beans like they were going out of style, but as soon as I jammed a few pieces of cheesy potatos in, it all came to a screeching halt. The 3 bites that I forced her to eat plus the one bite of pork tenderloin that I jammed in took about 40 minutes in total because she cried and let the food sit in her open mouth for 10-15 minutes at a time before finally gagging herself and accidentally swallowing it. fun.

Now, I'm not what you'd call tenderhearted--I have no problem listening to her cry for hours if she's just throwing a fit and being disobedient (if she's genuinely hurt and crying, however, I get so worked up that it makes me cry. Ask Mark's parents--the only time they've ever seen me cry was when she and I fell down the stairs and she bit down on her lip so hard that she earned herself her first ER visit.). We view tantrums as acts of defiance and discipline her accordingly, but how do you discipline her for refusing to chew? Seriously? That's not a rhetorical question, folks! I have no problem forcing her to clean her plate if that's what it takes, but I think we'd sit at the high chair all. day. long. if that's what it came to. I'm open to any and all suggestions, friends! :)

My child is special because:

--She decided she didn't like watermelon, so she'd rather let a chunk of watermelon sit in her open mouth for 35 minutes than chew it up and swallow it (yes, I timed it. I'm actually writing this blog while she's whining in her high chair a few feet away, so if the blog ends abruptly, it just means that she finally swallowed the watermelon and naptime began).

--She reminds me that things like, "Don't eat rocks!" do need to be said aloud--apparently I thought that one was understood.

--When I attempt to get up early to get things done before she wakes up, she knows just what time my alarm is set for and wakes up exactly 12 minutes before it goes off.

--She refuses to poop into an already wet diaper and consistently holds it until I have JUST changed her in order to do her business in a fresh diaper. Because they grow on trees.

--She spends the entirety of "infant song & sign" class standing in the middle of the circle and staring at the teacher while she plays her guitar and teaches us funny hand motions. She never claps, dances, or sings during class. When we get home, however, she won't shut up or be still.

I may add more to this list later if additional things come to me. Right now I'm going to have some mercy and bail the child out by digging the semi-chewed watermelon out of her mouth and putting her to bed. It's been 47 minutes and I keep having to clap loudly and wake her up. Apparently "You can't go to sleep with food in your mouth" is another rule that actually needs to be spoken aloud.

Product endorsement :)

I bought a Ped Egg today. Yes, seriously. I stopped and admired them earlier this week in the "as seen on TV" section of Bed Bath and Beyond, but they looked painful and I didn't think my problem was that bad. Well, folks, after taking a look, I can confirm for you that my foot problem really is that bad.

Since I've lived in flip flops year round for years, I've just accepted the disgusting condition of my feet as a symptom of their continual exposure to the elements and ignored what was going on down there. My move to Ohio and the sudden onset of constant coldness has left me wearing socks for the 23 hours and 50 minutes of the day during which I am not in the shower, so that has further cemented the lack of concern for the appearance of my feet. Well, yesterday after my shower I did a thorough foot examination and was horrified. I quickly broke out some fancy foot lotion I got for Christmas (both my mom and my mother-in-law gave me foot care products. You'd think I'd have taken the hint by now.) and slathered it on. Today I headed straight to the foot care section of Meijer to look for a pumice stone (I've been given them several times in the last few years by the same mother-in-law and I would consistenly use them for a few weeks in the shower. Inevitably the same thing always happened--I got lazy, they got slimy and gross, and I threw them away.) and there it was...the Ped Egg! It was on sale! :)

I laughed and rolled my eyes and pushed the buggy a few steps further down the aisle. With every step, however, I thought about the coming spring and the chance to bring my beloved Reef flipflops out of hiding. My curiousity eventually won and I tossed it into the buggy along with some new nail polish for which I had a $1 off coupon. :) (I can rationalize the frivolous purchase if I have a coupon for the polish and the Ped Egg was $2 off this week. :))

Dear friends, I have scraped. I have filed. I am amazed. My feet are nowhere near baby's bottom yet. They're not even close to the condition of Mark's beautiful soft girly feet. They are, however, better. It didn't hurt at all! I think I'm going to re-lotionize and use my new polish and then let them rest for a day or two and then break out the egg again and see if I can get a habit going. :) I'll be ready for sandals in no time. :)

I am not going to post a picture of my feet. I'm not quite there yet. I will, however, post a picture of the results of my first Ped Egg treatment. Those of you who have seen the commercial (I'm sure you can youtube it if you haven't seen this gem on real TV) have seen that part of the Ped Egg's charm lies in the fact that the dead skin that you slough off gets trapped in the bottom of the container so you can toss it in the trash instead of having it go all over your floor. This part of the commercial always made me giggle because of the cartoonish amount of icky skin the girl throws away. Ladies and gentlemen, it is not cartoonish. It is real life. The following picture is not for children or any adults with high blood pressure or a sensitive gag reflex.















Seriously. You are warned. It's gross.

Ok, Kerri and Keri. You wanted a new blog post, you got it. :)

Dear Dancing With the Stars Judges,

Thank you for finally calling Julianne out on making dances all about her while her partner just stands there and provides a pole for her to twirl around. Welcome to the program. Can we talk about why you gave such harsh (but warranted) criticism and then turned around and once again rewarded her with 7s? No? Ok.

Your faithful friend,

Emma

P.S. Could you please tell her to use some double-stick tape next time? The glittery thong that peeked out as the pants slipped was an unnecessary costume embellishment. thanks.

My new favorite website!

Friends, this morning we made a wonderful discovery here at the Wuertz house. I found Sesame Street! I was curious as to whether or not it was still on TV (it is!), so I checked the cable menu and Sarah Beth and I watched it (well, she watched the first 10 minutes and then lost interest and resumed climbing all over a cardboard box). When it started, she was transfixed! She was in the middle of one of her DOZENS of laps around our big rectangular coffee table and she stopped, looked up at the TV, held out her hand and started babbling at whatever strange looking muppet was on the screen talking about what makes a triangle great! It was hysterical! She's never paid that much attention to anything on TV--it was like she looked up and saw the blue-furred little guy and went, "Hey! This is for me!" :)

She watched with serious interest for maybe 10-15 minutes then went back to playing. I, however, watched the whole thing and loved it! I had no idea how hilarious Sesame Street has become! The highlight of my day so far was watching James Blunt sing a duet called "My Triangle" (to the tune of his song, "You're Beautiful") with a muppet. My sweet friend Sarah (a preschool teacher) clued me in on the wealth of fabulous celebrity videos that can be found on sesamestreet.org and I've spent the last 20 minutes watching videos and wondering how these people do this with a straight face. Here, for your personal enrichment, are my favorites:

James Blunt singing "My Triangle"
http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player?p_p_lifecycle=0&p_p_id=videoPlayer_WAR_sesameportlets4369&p_p_uid=df4a889a-157a-11dd-9bc7-777dea8a73e7

Dixie Chicks singing "There's No Letter Better Than B"
http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player?p_p_lifecycle=0&p_p_id=videoPlayer_WAR_sesameportlets4369&p_p_uid=19fde7fd-1575-11dd-bb51-597ab51d2e81

Anderson Cooper (my "Silver Fox Crush") broadcasting from Oscar's trash can with "Dan Rathernot" and "Walter Cranky"
http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player?p_p_lifecycle=0&p_p_id=videoPlayer_WAR_sesameportlets4369&p_p_uid=86730c18-154b-11dd-8ea8-a3d2ac25b65b

Ken Jennings (from Jeopardy) wins a date with a pineapple
http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player?p_p_lifecycle=0&p_p_id=videoPlayer_WAR_sesameportlets4369&p_p_uid=72ed3da9-156a-11dd-bb51-597ab51d2e81

Just me and Oprah...

Apparently Oprah has recently come out and told the world that her thyroid gland is ruining her life. Since I don't usually watch (unless you count the clips of screaming women they run on The Soup) I don't know what her deal is, but I feel somehow emboldened by her courage and want to confess to the world: I too have been held hostage by this evil dictator of a gland. Seriously. Who knew such a little buttface of a gland could wreak such havoc? Well, besides sweet Dr. Persons, and his Holy Spirit "hunch."

Though I wasn't having any weird symptoms originally, he threw in a bonus thyroid panel in labwork that was run a few days before everything else went haywire and I had a somewhat dramatic induction and early delivery of Sarah Beth. The results were majorly wonky, but other things were wonkier at that point and the thyroid took a back seat for several months. The watch-and-see-if-it-goes-away-on-its-own (it didn't) approach lasted through the summer, then Dr. Persons finally washed his hands of me and sent me to an endocrinologist to get straightened out. Two weeks before we moved I was able to get into an endocrinologist who told me that my thyroid had become overactive (when I asked why/how all I got was a shoulder shrug...apparently it just "happens sometimes.") and the most effective course of treatment was to "shut it up" using radioactive Iodine treatment. Pretty much all that entailed was swalling a carefully calculated dose of a medicine that would get me tackled by airport security if I traveled too soon afterward, which would basically kill off (permanently) a portion of my thyroid gland. The most complicated part was that I was supposed to keep out of "close contact" with others for about a week...which is tough to explain to an 8-month-old who just wants to be held. The upside is that it's a one-time, usually foolproof way to turn off the hyperactivity. The downside is that they almost always kill off a little too much which eventually make you hypo-thyroid (underactive this time) meaning you get to take meds to bring you back to normal every day for the rest of your life. Awesome.

OK. So treated with Iodine in August. I was told it usually takes a few months to work, so as long as I wasn't having any major symptoms, I should just have labwork done in 2 months after we'd moved to Ohio to check and see how far the levels had fallen, and at that point they'd decide whether or not to put me on the drugs. Labwork was run in October and the result was that yes, my levels were falling (and rising--there are several different hormones they look at and some rise and some fall and I can't remember which is which) so we knew the treatment did its job, but they liked to have at least 2 data points to compare before they start dosage of the synthetic thyroid drug--I had to have it rechecked in a few months and if it was pretty close to what it was in October then we'd know it was pretty much done shrinking, whereas if the 2nd blood draw showed a significant difference one way or the other we'd need to keep watching-and-seeing before we could determine a correct dose because things were still working themselves out. That was the longest sentence in America. Sorry, ya'll. It's late and that's just how I type. :)

November 2008: The Funk arrives. All of a sudden, here come the symptoms of hypothyroidism that I had blessedly somehow avoided up to this point. For the last 2 months, The Funk has taken over my life and made some interesting changes to include:

--fatigue. Now, up until this point I never answered the "fatigue?" question with a yes because I figured that all new moms were just constantly tired and that my particular tiredness could mostly be attributed to the stress of moving coupled with staying up too late playing on the computer. I have now reached the point where I know the difference between normal, partially self-imposed tiredness and chemical, can't-physically-make-it-through-the-day-without-a-nap fatigue.

--muscle weakness. This was also a bit of a shocker for me because it's advent coincided with the purchase of a set of "The Firm" workout dvds which I actually enjoyed doing. :) My favorite was the strength one because I was always sore afterward, but it was the good sore where you know you worked hard. However, even on days when I didn't do the workouts my muscles would still feel tired. I knew the DVDs were working, though, because after a few weeks, they got easier to do (I was getting stronger). We traveled for Thanksgiving and I didn't work out for over a week. During that week I started noticing that even though I hadn't used my muscles in the same way, they were still really tired--like I had to take a break and let my arm dangle halfway through brushing my teeth because my shoulder couldn't hold my arm up and sustain the pressure needed to adequately press the toothbrush onto my teeth to scrub. OK, so this wasn't "wow, that workout was so awesome that I can't raise my arms" tired--this was "wow, my shoulder got so tired that I just had to take a break while blowdrying my hair" tired. Not normal. I had a few close calls with slipping and falling down the stairs because my legs were a little unsteady (our new house is 2-story), which is scary when carrying an infant. I now go granny-slow up and down them while white-knuckling the handrail whether I'm carrying anything or not. My back muscles tire and ache (I'm guessing just from the stress of supporting my frame) when I stand or walk anywhere after about 5 minutes. Again, not normal.

--cold intolerance. This one is funny for several reasons. It's funny (and normally could possibly be explained away) because it also coinciced with fall/winter and a move from Florida to Ohio. It's also funny because up until November I was ALWAYS HOT. ALWAYS. I was thrilled to move to a cold climate because I thought maybe then there would be a few months out of the year where I wouldn't sweat like a horse. All of a sudden it was like a switch flipped and I was ALWAYS COLD. ALWAYS. It's one thing to be cold because it's really cold outside. It's another for Emma Wuertz to be sitting here typing this in a house where the digital thermostat reads 70 degrees--and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt, a fleece pullover, the fleece lining out of my new winter coat that I got for Christmas (YAY!), fleece pants, socks, and a have a heavy blanket over my lap. Seriously folks. My flip flops haven't seen the light of day in months. The bonus here is that I've bought myself a whole new sweater wardrobe, which is fun because all my life I've been too hot to wear sweaters! :) The downside is that our gas bill for last month was $161 (because if we lower the thermostat any lower my teeth will chatter) and that I'm constantly scared I'll roast my child to death because I dress her as if she's as cold as me when she's probably comfortable in our 70 degree house in just a long-sleeved onesie without the fleece hoodie. :)

--loss of appetite. This one has been the most shocking. I have never in my life voluntarily skipped meals. My problem has been the opposite--even if I wasn't technically "hungry," I'd eat just because it was lunchtime or I'd finish the fries just because they were sitting there. The genuine lack of hunger coupled with the fixing-and-eating-lunch-would-cut-into-my-precious-naptime attitude of late means I'm down to 1, sometimes 2 small meals a day and zero snacks. The super sucky part of this classic symptom of hypothyroidism is that it almost always comes with a precipitous drop in metabolic rate--meaning even though I'm eating less than I ever have in my life, I'm not losing a single pound. Double awesome. Here's a serious confession to prove my point: I love mint M&Ms. I love them. As they're only around at Christmas and some years are hard to find, I tend to hoard them and stock up when I see them because I'm sure that they'll soon disappear and I'll have to wait til next year to taste their minty goodness again. Last Christmas I'd buy a bag or 2 every time I went to the commissary, you know--just in case they ran out...well they never did. At one point in January I went through my china cabinet where I had them all hidden and counted over 2 dozen bags. I was nusing/pumping/sleeping almost never at that point and I'd eat them to stay awake at all hours of the day or night (several of you can attest to seeing/smelling me eating them to stay awake in church :)) and I would literally go through a bag a day. Gross, I know. This is me being transparent. :) Well I've been trying to "do better" so I haven't amassed quite that many (I'd count, but that would mean I'd have to get out of this chair and leave my little warm bubble, so that's not happening :)) or eaten them with such gusto, and I have a bag opened and stashed in my side table, but that particular bag has been open for over a week. A week! I know NORMAL people can actually make candy last that long, but even on my best "dieting" days that was basically an impossibility with me. Bottom line: eating W-A-Y less (and better for me food!) than ever before in my life while managing to slowly regain almost all of the 28 lbs I put on while pregnant--and then lost the first week and a half after delivery. Definitely not awesome.

This brings us to today. Today I had another thyroid panel run and it seems my levels have finally evened out so tomorrow I get to pick up my drugs!!! I am SO EXCITED!!! It feels like between The Funk and moving and post-baby junk and blood pressure junk and being pregnant that I haven't felt "normal" in a year and a half...and I LONG to just feel NORMAL! So, while I don't usually get all transparent and open on the internet (as a blog-stalker myself I can attest to the fact that you don't know who reads this stuff! :)), here's my plea for all of you, whoever you are. Would you please pray with me:

--that the Lord would use this medicine to bring back the "normal" so I can be a better mom and wife than I have been in the last 2 months specifically.
--that He'd do it quickly :) as Mark's going TDY for 2 weeks pretty soon and mommying with The Crud is hard enough even when I have him around to help for a few hours every day. Doing it without him for 2 weeks will definitely take the Lord's strength, which I know He'll give--partially in the form of a visit from my sweet mama to help out. :)
--that if/when He brings me out of The Crud, He'll help me remember when necessary what it feels like to be totally dependent on Him to get through the day and that I will be thankful for this time and that it taught me that truth. This has been a hard lesson to learn, specifically for a girl who NEVER asks for help from ANYONE, :) but He knew that I needed to be physically shut down in order to remember what true reliance on Him looks like and I praise Him for using this time in my life in that way.

Sorry, ya'll. :) I know it's disappointing that this post contained neither humorous fluff nor cute baby pictures. :) I'll do better next time. :)

2008 In Review

Sarah Beth went from this:
(early Jan 2008 - 4-ish lbs)

to this:

(mid Dec 2008 - 20-ish lbs!)

and from this:

(early Jan 2008 - finishing a 1-1.5 oz bottle was a triumph!)

to this:

(she eats pretty much anything, but her favorites seem to be peas and ham--she gobbles them up like I'm going to take them from her any minute!)

and from this:

(sleeping ALL THE TIME)

to this:

(She still sleeps well, but when she's awake she's standing on her own and almost walking and therefore NEVER sitting still :))

WHEW! :)

We can't wait to see what 2009 will bring! We are so richly blessed!

My man and my girl...

...who in this picture kind of looks like a boy. :) They're both precious anyway. :)

9 (but really 10.5) month well-baby update :)

OK everybody else posts the stats at their kids' well baby appointments, so I'm going to do the same because I'm crazy proud. :) With the move and the time it took to get set up with the hospital here with records and such, we just got in to do Sarah Beth's 9 month checkup this past week, even though she's already over 10 months old. I guess if you adjust for her prematurity, though, she really was around 9 months. Anyway, she weighed 18 lb 2 oz and was 27 inches long. Without even adjusting for prematurity, she was in the 21st percentile for her weight!!! I know the rest of you with your sweet chubby babies would be horrified at such a ranking, but we threw a party because she's catching up so well! At her 6 month check-up she had just barely (I think it was the 5th percentile) made it onto the "big girl chart" as our doctor called it (instead of the special "premature/very low birthweight chart that she'd been on), so a jump like that was really exciting to see! She's never been excited about eating, so ever since she was a 3.5 lb newborn, I've been obsessive about her weight and considered every gained ounce a personal victory since it's basically a full time job to get calories into her. Pardon me for a second while I pat myself on the back. :) She's babbling but still not really purposefully saying words, but her gross and fine motor skills are awesome and she's pretty much exactly where a 10.5 month old is supposed to be--even though technically she's only 9 months old!! WOO HOO!

Her favorite new activity--wrestling with the couch cushions (and leaving drool spots all over them in the process)

Ode to Chick-fil-a

Yes, this is indeed a blog about Chick-fil-a. I love them. The more I learn about them, the more I love them. Here are my favorite reasons why:

--When you order a grilled chicken sandwich *plain* (that usually includes lettuce, tomato, and onion), they knock $0.30 off the price automatically so you're not getting charged for stuff you'd pick off anyway. Can anyone name any other place on the planet that does that?!? I noticed it recently when I watched a girl punch my order into the computer and I've been watching--they do it every time! This is amazing to me!

--On election night, they were giving out free chicken sandwiches to anyone with an "I voted" sticker. My mom and I decided to go for dinner and we literally could not get into the parking lot. The line of people was out the door and wound around the building.

--On Monday, if you bring in a church bulletin from the previous Sunday, another free chicken sandwich. It may just be that we have an especially wonderful franchise owner, so check with your local restaurant before you haul in your bulletin. :) Don't know if this is a company-wide policy. :)

--During the week after the windstorm that wreaked havoc the week we moved up here, I saw a news story about the local franchise taking hundreds of chicken sandwiches, drinks, and fries out to a neighborhood that was still without power and having a "blackout block party" to sort of boost morale and get the first couple hundred people who came by (whether or not they lived in that neighborhood) a free hot meal. How awesome is that?

--Styrofoam cups. I know they're not "green," but I can't help it. I will go out of my way to get a diet lemonade from Chick-fil-A (or a Diet Sprite from Sonic for the same reason--plus the crushed ice!) because the fabulous cup means I can sip it for hours without it getting all watery.

--They now serve peppermint chocolate chip milkshakes. I haven't actually tasted one (because I know that when I do, it's all over and I won't ever be able to turn one down ever again), but just knowing that such a thing exists right down the road from me makes me sleep better at night.


That concludes the embarrassing love-fest-in-honor-of-a-fast-food-restaurant portion of the blog. :)


Don't really have much other news. One note just for you, Jill: (and any anyone else who has ever frozen their patooties off in our previously cold house because I *was* the most hot-natured person in America) right now I am wearing FLEECE PANTS for the first time in my life, socks, a long sleeved shirt, and a fleece pullover...and I'm INSIDE! The digital thermostat says our house is 68 degrees, but I am FREEZING ALL THE TIME! It's truly amazing what a bout with hyper- and then hypothyroidism will do to your body's thermostat! I am so cold that I have actually considered purchasing one of those giant blankets with arms you see in comercials...what are they called? Snuzzies?

That is all. :)

It's the annual Halloween blog!

That time is here again! I know you're all excited about the annual Halloween blog (if you are that interested, you can find the last 2 years' on my myspace). I was a little disappointed. There didn't seem to be nearly as many funny moments tonight as in the past two years. (And no, we don't have the time machine set to October 31st. In the Dayton area, they schedule "Beggars Night" for the 30th on years where Halloween falls on a Friday or a Sunday). There were a few cute moments though, so here they are--as usual, in bullet format. :)

--After a pack of 3 boys got candy from me, one looked in the other's bag (presumably to see what I'd given him, since I had a variety I was giving out). He stood there rifling through his brother's (friend's?) bag and finally the exasperated mother yelled from the sidewalk, "Diego, you're being high maintenance! Come on!"

--I had a few silly responses to the "What do you say?" prompts of the parents when the kid reached the doorstep. One kid said, "Merry Christmas!" and another just looked at me and said "Halloween." Not "trick-or-treat." OK.

--My favorite costume of the night was a kid dressed as Napolean Dynamite. He had the curly blondish fro wig, the big glasses, the "Vote for Pedro" shirt, and his jeans were tucked into his boots. I'm not a fan of that movie (I really want that 2 hours of my life back!) but it was a pretty good costume. I almost asked him if he liked my sleeves or if he would dance for the candy.

--My favorite parent of the night came up to me and asked, "Do you know where Trunk Drive is?" I told her I was relatively new to the neighborhood and had seen it close by on walks, but I wasn't sure which direction it was in. She said, "Oh, we're new too and now I don't know how to get home!" Turns out, she was using a firetruck that sat at our instersection for the first hour (they had the lights flashing and the firemen were basically glorified crossing guards who handed out candy and gave the littlest kids a thrill.) as her landmark to know which street to turn down, and when the firetruck left she had no idea where she was in the neighborhood. When I pointed to the corner and told her the firetruck (unless there was more than one!) had been sitting there, she breathed a sigh of relief and said she could find home now that she knew she was on the street from which Trunk branched off of. Random question: which is worse? Trunk Dr. or Gross Dr.? Seriously...who named the streets in this neighborhood?

--Tiny rant: As nice as it would be to have both parents go out with the kid and be able to enjoy it with him/her, I think it is totally unfair when both the mom and the dad take the kids out and don't leave somebody at home to give out candy. I think it is cheap and selfish. There. I said it.

--Mark was told today that he's allowed to dress up in costume for work tomorrow. (So now all my AF wife friends are thinking "what the heck kind of military is Mark in?!? My husband's flying helicopters in Iraq!" I know, I know. :)) Besides the whole handing out candy part, we're not really into Halloween so he's obviously not going to dress up. I did, however, suggest that he go as a colonel because we have a set of colonel rank that his uncle gave me upon Mark's commissioning (so I'd always "outrank" Mark. :) I guess if he one day makes general (psha :)) he'll outrank me then, but it turns out that it's pretty hard to find generals' stars in the military clothing store and colonel rank was the best Uncle David could do for me.

--Trick-or-treating was supposed to go from 6-8 pm. I completely ran out of candy at 7:30. The best part was that I ran out when a group of about 15 kids all came up at the same time. Actually it was 2 groups who reached the house at the same time--about 6-8 little kids and 7 teenagers. The little kids got to me first and I had the exact number of pieces for that little kid group and it gave me a little squeal of delight when I dropped the last pack of skittles into the bucket of a kid in a stroller and held the empty bowl up for the high schoolers standing behind the little kid group. I put on a sad face and said "Aww! Sorry guys! Just a few seconds too late!" but I was smiling on the inside. ;) Teenagers who trick-or-treat annoy me, unless they actually put serious effort into their costumes. These didn't, so I was perfectly fine with the timing of my empty bowl.

--I started with A TON of candy. A TON. I always had what I thought was a ton at Eglin, and I always gave each kid 2 pieces and ended up with some left over. I knew there were probably more kids in our neighborhood here, so I started out with a ton and then went out and got 5 more bags yesterday because I was scared I didn't have enough. Tonight, I started out giving out 2 pieces and hit panic mode at 6:45 and switched to 1 per kid. When I ran out and came inside at 7:30, I got all the empty bags and added them up. The grand total was 18 1/4 pounds of candy. That. is. rediculous.

So, that was Halloween. It didn't get much attention at my house this year. It sort of snuck up on me, so I never got around to getting a pumpkin, and I'm sure that if I had one I wouldn't have had time to carve it. I hauled a fake one with a little light bulb outside with me and called it a day. :) I didn't dress up (besides my pumpkin beret :)) and Fredo spent the whole trick-or-treat time in his crate, so he didn't dress up either this year. I didn't even get Sarah Beth a costume! I hear the gasp from all of you out there. Yes, babies in costume are very cute, but seriously...it was freezing and she wasn't going to sit outside with me, plus her bedtime was halfway through trick-or-treat time, so we just didn't even go there. She did stand just inside the glass door and play with candy wrappers for a while (and lick the door, which was hilarious but totally gross), so she got to watch the kids and her cuteness was admired by kids and parents alike, even though she wasn't in costume.